In fact, the majority of online daters seek out partners who are more desirable than themselves, suggests a new large-scale analysis by University of Michigan researchers published in Science Advances. The majority of people in these dating networks contact prospects who are about 25 percent more desirable than themselves. They also tend to tailor their messaging strategies, sending relatively longer messages to contacts who are further up the hierarchy. If you are contacted by people who are themselves desirable, then you are presumably more desirable yourself, say the researchers, who are both also external faculty at the Santa Fe Institute. The researchers applied the algorithm to data from users of a dating website in New York, Boston, Chicago and Seattle. Among other things, the algorithm reveals how people behave strategically during online courtship by altering the length and number of messages they send to individuals at different levels of desirability. But even though the response rate is low, our analysis shows that 21 percent of people who engage in this aspirational behavior do get replies from a mate who is out of their league, so perseverance pays off. Of the four cities analyzed, the notable exception was Seattle, where the researchers did observe a payoff for writing longer messages. When the researchers compared desirability scores against user attributes, they found correlations between age, education level and ethnicity. Though the study affirms that many people are making choices that align with popular stereotypes, Bruch stresses that this is not a rule that holds for all individuals.
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It’s definitely a popular route to go. It’s not for everyone though. I don’t think there’s something wrong in joining dating sites. A lot of dating site reviews showed good service for some of our friends in the online dating world.
Tell a friend, a sibling, or a neighbor that you are using an online dating site, and it location (but for the record I am fifty-four, female, and live in Ann Arbor).
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This week, we put three Daily Arts Writers to the test: they picked a subject they could immerse themselves in, then wrote a first-person narrative about their experience. You can read the other pieces in this issue here and here. The author did not identify herself as a reporter for The Daily, and no conversations have been recorded without consent. For context, I have never been on a date with anyone I met online.
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